


Dark Eyes

by Sabinasan



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-11
Updated: 2012-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-29 08:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabinasan/pseuds/Sabinasan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tales of what could be and what lies behind the actions of our most beloved characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lonely Nights

**Author's Note:**

> FullMetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. This is inspired by the 64 Damn Prompts found on LiveJournal.

**Theme:** #1 2 a.m.  
 **Character/Pairing:** Alphonse Elric

Soft snoring filled the tiny room, invading it like the cold, empty light of the moon shining through windows that had been left bare of curtains. Ever since that horrific night, the elder brother needed the light as a safety net to chase away the tragic and horrific memories of that night. It was a request the younger brother was willing to fulfill, even at his expense. The elder had always known that the younger liked sleeping in a pitch black room, but this was no longer a concern to the younger. The elder didn’t need to know the truth.

Sitting up against the wall just outside the moon light’s glow, a large armored body stared out into the room, shadows playing in the corners where the moon's light couldn’t reach. In those shadows, he imagined a pair of blood red eyes staring back and a disembodied voice crying out in pain. The eyes haunted him, tortured him just like they tortured the elder…but the elder didn’t need to know that either.

The elder didn’t need to know anything about what was bothering the younger. He had his own worries. The last thing he needed was to shoulder the burdens of the one trapped in armor. Still, of all the things that could bother the younger about his new life, this was the one that got to him the most. He always saw 2 A.M. and it wasn’t of his own choice.

He could no longer sleep. The metal body didn’t need the sleep - it wasn't alive like a flesh and blood body. The younger missed the feel of cool clean sheets against his skin as he snuggled under them and sunk into a feather mattress. He missed the feel of his pillow on his cheek and the flutter of his mother’s lips in a good night kiss on his forehead. He could no longer feel the heaviness of his eyelids as they begged for sleep, and he longed for the sinking feeling of slipping from reality into the caress of pleasant dreams. No one else could understand the unrelenting yearning he now felt for sleep, even if the nature of the sleep was different now. Even if he had to trade those peaceful dreams for the night terrors the elder faced every night.

The younger sighed and tried to keep his metal body from clanking. If he couldn’t have the sleep he so desperately desired, he would give it to the elder, like a gift. It was what he could do to repay his brother for bringing him back to this world and giving up his arm to do so. The younger was strong…sometimes, he felt like he was stronger than the elder, but he would never tell that to anyone. It would be his secret. He knew his brother would never stand for being bound to armor, especially when so many things most people took for granted were to be denied to him.

He knew his brother needed the restful sleep more than him. The elder had so many memories of that night – more memories than even the younger had. Brother would sometimes cry out at night as he recounted each terrifying moment; the things he would never share with anyone in a wakeful state.

So, maybe it was alright that the younger would suffer the lonely nights. He could hear the confessions of the elder and forgive him for everything he faulted himself for. He could respond to his brother’s unconscious murmurings and tell him that it would be alright. He could endure this temporary body for as long as it took for his brother to find a way to bring back the flesh and blood body lost to that night.

After all, he was the stronger one.


	2. Cold Remedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after the end of Brotherhood and contains spoilers for those who have not seen the show in its entirety.

**Theme:** #44 Turpentine Kisses and Mistaken Blows  
 **Character/Pairing:** Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell

Winry stared out the front window of the home she shared with her grandmother, Pinako, watching the grey clouds drift slowly across the sky. Rain fell from the fat clouds, spattering on the window. Winry sighed, resting her chin on her hand, which was supported by an elbow sitting on the windowsill.

 _He’s late…as usual._

As soon as she thought those words, a dark figure came down the lane that connected the Rockbell house to the main road of Resembool. She lifted her head off of her hand and let her arm fall to her side. Den, who had been laying beside her on the floor, sat up in alert, his ears perked up to hear the coming footfalls. Winry took note that the figure was moving slower than she was used to seeing, and she grew slightly concerned.

“It seems he’s coming,” Pinako said from behind her.

“Yeah…” Winry said, sounding wistful. After a moment, she realized how she had sounded and added, “It looks like he didn’t take care of his leg!”

She continued to watch him come up the lane and when he was close to the porch, she opened the door as he started to climb the stairs. She noted that he didn’t even look up at her like he usually did. She wondered what was going on in his head and if his trip to the West went well. He finally looked up as he came closer to the landing, and Winry took a step back in surprise. His eyes were glassy and almost lifeless.

“Ed…” she whispered.

“Hi Winry…” he said, his voice low and monotone.

“You’re completely soaked!” Winry cried out as she grabbed an arm and pulled him inside.

“Yeah…well, it’s a long walk from the train station,” he replied with a sniffle.

Winry set a chair by the fire and pulled Edward toward it, pushing down on his shoulders to force him into a seated position. Pinako took his suitcase from his lax hand and began to rummage in it for dry clothes. Winry knew Ed wasn’t feeling like his usual self because he would usually protest when someone went rooting through his belongings. Winry shook her head, knowing Ed wasn’t the type to carry an umbrella and would brave whatever the elements could throw at him. Edward coughed, wincing in pain as he did so.

Winry squatted in front of Edward and began to take his coat off. She smiled, trying to make light of Edward’s malaise. “I suppose you miss your alchemy now, huh?”

Edward barely shrugged; an ironic smile graced his lips. “No…not when I have Al back.”

Winry had no response. She felt bad for bringing up the fact that he could no longer do alchemy and Edward had been stung by her accusation. She knew it had been at least three years since he had given it up for Al’s sake, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he missed it all the same especially when he used to use it for many things. Deep down, she knew what he said was the truth, and she felt guilty for bringing up old wounds. She finished pulling his coat off and went to hang it by the door while Pinako handed Edward clean, dry clothing.

“Go get dressed into these. We don’t need you to get any sicker.”

Ed took his clothes and without complaint, went to the bedroom he always slept in when he came to visit. The door shut softly behind him. Winry sighed and approached Pinako.

“I bet he’s been running himself ragged.”

“Of course he has. Those boys don’t know how to slow down. Now, I need you to boil some water for tea and gather up all the cold remedies, including that rub.”

Winry wrinkled her nose. “That stuff stinks.”

“But it’ll help him breathe so he can get some rest tonight.”

Winry set out to do as her grandmother asked. Before long, Edward was out in a long white shirt and grey pants and sitting once more by the fire. He had pulled his blonde hair out of its customary ponytail and it lay limply on his shoulders, still wet from the rain. Pinako draped a blanket over his shoulders as he let out a vicious sneeze. Winry set out the rub on the table along with a hot water bottle to fill with the leftover water from the kettle to warm the sheets on Ed’s bed and a bottle of herbal cold remedy. She then fetched the hot kettle and poured the steaming water into a mug with tea leaves. After a few minutes of steeping, she brought the mug over to Edward.

“Here…be careful. It’s hot.”

Edward took it with a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you have an umbrella with you?”

Edward just looked down at his mug. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t jump all over him, Winry. He’s ill and we need to make sure he feels better in the morning. I suspect he was already sick when he left the West and the walk here made it worse,” Pinako said as she sucked on her pipe.

Winry sighed again. “Yeah…he’ll want to leave soon.”

She felt a little tug at her heart when she thought of Edward leaving just as he came back. The memory of the last conversation they had before he boarded the train to the West played before her eyes. The endearing dusting of red across his nose and cheeks as he tried to awkwardly say he wanted her to be a part of his life. Then, her own embarrassment when she replied that he could have all of her life in return. Winry felt a little heat flush her face as she thought about his gentle hug as he thanked her for improving his mood before leaving Resembool.

How she had thought about that moment every day since he left! She wished over and over again that he would hug her once more like that, with tenderness and compassion. He hadn’t said it, but Winry understood him all the same. He loved her and had loved her for a long time. The embrace only served as a physical reminder and confirmation for her. She knew that he knew she jumped all over him about taking care of himself because she did care for him.

“Finish up that tea and have something to eat, Ed. You’ll need food to get better quickly,” Pinako said as she went to make a bowl of stew for him.

Winry watched Ed take a careful sip of the hot brew before she came to his side and sat on the floor. They didn’t speak, but she enjoyed their closeness all the same. Eventually, Ed looked down at her.

“It was cold on the train. The West…is a little bit warmer than Amestris.”

“What’s it like? Did you see any good auto mail shops out there?” Winry asked in rapid succession.

Ed smiled and coughed, wincing in pain once more. Winry grew concerned again and watched as he lifted a hand made warm by the tea to his throat.

“Sore throats are the worst,” he croaked.

Winry hummed in agreement. “Don’t worry…granny has a good remedy for that.”

Ed wrinkled his nose. “It’s not that rub is it?”

“Of course. It’s the best thing for a sore throat and stuffy nose. It sounds like you have both,” Pinako said as she handed him a bowl of stew with a spoon already in it.

Edward went to put his mug on the floor, but Winry took it into her hands so Edward could have both hands to eat his stew. Winry watched as he swallowed each spoonful.

“How does it taste?”

“Can’t really taste…I’m too stuffed up. But, I know it would taste good.”

Winry smiled and got up off of the floor so she could bring all of the tools necessary to help Edward feel better into his bedroom. When she came back out into the main room, Edward was taking his dish to the kitchen. Winry waited there for a moment until he came out to the main room and turned to walk toward his bedroom.

“You gonna take care of me?” he asked.

“Just get you settled into bed with the proper medicine,” Winry stated matter-of-factly.

Edward nodded and brushed past Winry with a shuffle, and she knew he was feeling drained from his journey and his body trying to fight the offending germs in his body. He stood in the middle of the room with the blanket still wrapped around him. Winry bustled in and lowered the sheet and blanket to put the hot water bottle at the foot of the bed. She then looked expectantly at Ed as she straightened up from her bent over position. He let the blanket drop to the floor.

“Take your shirt off so I can put the rub on your chest,” Winry instructed. Edward’s eyebrow arched in discomfort. Winry sighed in exasperation. “C’mon, Ed. It’s not like I haven’t seen you shirtless before.”

“Yeah, well…that was different,” he grumbled. “I don’t have an arm for you to fix anymore.” The bridge of his nose and his cheeks began to turn pink.

Winry smiled, knowing Ed was trying to hide how he felt about her, even though they both were aware that the relationship had changed since they had last seen each other. She knew that Edward was more self-conscious about how she would react to him. Winry wanted to tease him about his body to make him feel a little more comfortable, but she knew that would be mean, especially since he was ill. She decided to placate him instead.

“Well, you can cover up if you’re feeling insecure, but I just need to put the rub right between your shoulders on your chest, so leave that uncovered.”

“Yeah, okay…” Ed said as he unbuttoned his shirt. Ed turned around modestly as he finished unbuttoning before sliding the shirt off of his shoulders.

Winry tried hard not to stare, but she couldn’t help noticing that his body was still in very good shape with well-defined muscles. She felt heat rise in her cheeks with a little pride as she thought, shallowly, that this young man and his body were hers. No other woman would get this privilege because Edward had expressed that she was the only woman he was interested in. This made Winry very happy. Edward crawled into bed, coughing as he did so and sniffling, before he lay down on his back and pulled the blanket and sheet to just below his shoulders. Winry came over to the bed as she unscrewed the lid to the rub and sat down on the edge of the bed. Edward wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“What’s in that stuff anyway?”

“Turpentine,” Winry stated as she dipped her pointer and middle fingers into the stuff and getting a good sized glob on her fingers. She looked up to see Ed’s expression on incredulity and chuckled. “Oh, it’s only enough to open up your sinuses and soothe the sore throat. It won’t hurt you.”

The pair was silent as Winry added the glob of rub onto Ed’s chest. She saw his body spasm briefly in discomfort at the cold temperature of the rub. She whispered, “sorry” as she continued to spread the stuff across his chest. Edward couldn’t help but inhale deeply at the scent, and she could see him relaxing, his golden eyes closing to rest.

Her eyes drifted over to his right shoulder where a slightly faded scar remained from where machinery had once stood in place of the flesh and bone arm he now had, thanks to Alphonse’s sacrifice. She knew the scar as well as the auto mail leg served as a reminder of his arrogance and the pain he caused and had to endure because of it. Winry frowned, trying to fight back some tears that threatened to fill her eyes. She didn’t want to think of those years…she wanted to focus on the new beginning the brothers were creating. She wanted to keep moving forward: a mantra the brothers had used for those years when things seemed hopeless.

“How is your leg?” Winry asked as a way to escape some of the melancholy thoughts that had surfaced.

A brief beat passed before Edward stirred and answered. “Fine. I even oiled it like you said.”

Winry smiled. “I’m glad.” Winry stopped her ministration, her palm resting in the spot on his chest where the rub had been applied. “Ed?”

Edward opened his eyes fully to look into hers. She closed her eyes to steel herself for what she was about to say. “I’m sorry…for what I said earlier. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean it…I didn’t think about what I was saying.”

Another moment passed as Edward processed what she was referring to. When it dawned on him, he closed his eyes, his expression blank. He then opened them after a few seconds and reached a hand up to rest it gently on her cheek.

“Don’t be. You’re right…I do need to take better care of myself. I used to rely on my alchemy so much to help me. I forgot…how to be like everyone else,” he paused. “At least…I have you to remind me,” he added tenderly.

“Oh, Ed…” Winry stated as she bent over, removing her hand from his chest to replace it with her cheek.

Edward seemed startled at first by her movement, but he then smiled and rested his hand on top of her head. They sat there in silence, listening to each other breathe. The quiet atmosphere was occasionally broken by a cough that Edward tried to suppress to keep Winry from being disturbed by the sudden movement of his chest. Eventually, Edward drifted off to sleep, feeling the warmth and relaxation that he only experienced being in the Rockbell home near the one who had stolen his heart.


	3. Bedtime Story

**Theme:** #61 Stories  
 **Character/Pairing:** Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and Trisha Elric

Childish giggles emanated from the study that had once belonged to the now missing Hohenheim. Trisha was busy finishing up the dishes in the sink, and she smiled, glad to hear her sons happily playing. She found herself missing Hohenheim, and at the same time, sad that she couldn’t really explain why he had left. She knew her eldest, Edward, was eternally angry for the abandonment, and she wished she could explain it in a way that he could understand. Trisha found herself looking out the window above the sink, which overlooked the main road in Resembool. She stared for a few minutes, hoping to see the blonde hair of the man she loved bobbing down the road.

She sighed as the familiar ache of loss filled her breast. How she missed his steady, quiet strength and his unequivocal love for her and their children. She missed his gentle smile that he seemed to save only for her and her alone. It may seem foolish to others, but she even longed for his secrets. She knew there was much he had kept from her, but he had shared enough with her to know that he would probably outlive her and their children.

The day he left, he didn’t reveal any more about his past. He only said he had to correct a grievous mistake he had made as a thoughtless youth. She had accepted the vague response because deep down, she knew that he felt like he would lose her love if she found out the depth of his error. Even so, her acceptance didn’t help to lessen the pain of his absence.

She heard a squeal of laughter, which snapped her out of her reverie. Trisha looked down at the completed dishes and sighed. She needed to check up on her boys. She smiled and walked down the hallway to the study to find her boys playing with small horses they had transmuted from blocks of wood. Edward and Alphonse, now five and four years old, were on their hands and knees, crawling and moving the horses like they were galloping across the floor.  
“My knight is on the search for a maid to save!” Ed proclaimed.

“And her name is Winry!” Al cried out.

Ed stopped short and sat up to protest. “Is not!”

Trisha couldn’t help but laugh at her eldest’s indignation. Her laughter made both her boys look up. Both of them grinned up at her and Al even scrambled to his feet to run to her. She knelt down and brought her youngest son into her arms.

“It sounds like you two were having fun,” she stated.

“Yeah! We were on a quest!” Al cried out enthusiastically.

“Oh? What kind of quest?”

Edward ran over to join them, and Trisha extended an arm to wrap him up in her embrace as well. “Al and I were going to save a maid trapped in a tower by an evil dragon…and we were going to use our alchemy to save her!”

“Is that so? What brave boys I have!” Trisha replied. The boys beamed at her. “But I do know my brave boys need to get plenty of rest if they want to save that pretty maid in the tower.”

Edward groaned because he knew what was coming. “Do we have to?”

Trisha nodded. “Yes, dear. Growing boys need to go to bed to get enough sleep. Sleep helps you grow big and strong…like drinking your milk.”

Edward frowned and turned his head away from his mother, knowing the gentle reprimand was directed toward him. “I _hate_ milk.”

“But we’re not tired!” Al whined.

“How about this? If you get ready for bed now, I will tell you a bedtime story.”

“Okay!” Edward shouted as he wriggled out of her embrace, his hatred of the white beverage forgotten in the moment.

The boys both raced out of the room and down the hallway toward their bedroom. She could hear them squealing as they vied to be the first to their bedroom. Trisha couldn’t help but laugh at her boys. She stood and took a step toward the forgotten wooden horses when she felt a wave of dizziness overtake her. Trisha placed a hand on the wall to keep her balance as her sight clouded over to black with white stars. She waited a few moments for the dizziness to pass before she released her hold on the wall. She grew afraid, knowing an epidemic had been sweeping the country. She had heard all of the symptoms, and dizziness was one of the first symptoms.

“I just got up too fast,” she murmured to herself, trying to be reassuring. She didn’t want to think about the possibility of being sick – not when she had two boys to care for and raise.

Trisha went over to the horses and put them on a shelf next to Hohenheim’s beginner’s alchemy book. She ran her fingers gently over the spine, remembering the wreaths of flowers he used to transmute for her. It was one of the most endearing things he did for her and let her know that buried beneath the stony exterior was a romantic. She then left the room and walked down the hallway to Ed and Al’s shared bedroom. There, the boys were already tucked into one of their beds, waiting patiently for their mother’s story. She went over to the bed, and Al jumped out from under the covers.

“Lay in the middle, mama!”

“Will there be enough room for the three of us?” she asked with a laugh.

“Always!” Ed said.

Trisha crawled under the blankets and felt her oldest son snuggle up against her. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head, and she knew he appreciated the affection. Al crawled in on her left side and nestled up to her. Trisha wrapped an arm around Al to keep him from tumbling out of the bed before she kissed him on the top of his head as well. Once the trio was comfortable, Trisha spoke up.

“What story do you want to hear?”

“One about knights going to rescue a princess!” Al cried.

“Yeah!” Ed concurred.

Trisha laughed. “Alright.” She paused before she began the story. “Once upon a time, there were two very brave and handsome knights named Edward and Alphonse.” She looked down to see that her boys were delighted that the knights were named after them. “They had heard stories of a beautiful princess of Amestris, who was trapped in a tower and guarded by a fearsome dragon.”

“How big was the dragon?” Al asked.

“Oh…as big as this house!” Trisha exclaimed.

“Oh no! That’s so big!” Al responded.

“Don’t worry, Al! We could beat a dragon that big with our alchemy,” Edward stated matter-of-factly.

“Really?” Al asked his brother, turning on his side and leaning over Trisha to have a conversation with Edward.

“I think you could,” Trisha concurred. “After all, you both take after your father.”

Edward snorted. “Yeah, well I’m going to be _better_ than he was!”

Trisha did nothing but smile. She knew anything positive she said about their father would be discounted by Edward until Hohenheim returned home. I hope he does…she thought. She decided to return to the story instead of starting a fight with her eldest son. “So, hearing about the dragon, Edward and Alphonse mounted their trusty horses and headed out to the East, where the princess was being held captive.”

“In Xing?” Edward asked.

Trisha nodded. “Yes...in Xing.”

The story continued in that way, with Trisha telling little bits and the boys interrupting with questions or more details. By the end, the boys had used alchemy for fantastic feats of bravery, defeated the dragon, saved the princess to bring her back to Amestris, and then the boys fought over who the princess was. Al insisted that it was Winry, but Edward denied it. Trisha settled it by creating another princess who was the sister of the first one mentioned in the story. Al named that princess Winry. Edward didn’t have a name for his princess, but he told Trisha that she was as pretty as his mother.

The boys were then tucked into bed with kisses on their foreheads before Trisha extinguished the kerosene lamp in their bedroom. Both boys whispered good night as they settled down under the blankets for a night full of blissful dreams. Trisha couldn’t help but beam at their serene faces. They brought such joy to her life. As she left the bedroom and shut the door, Trisha was hit with another wave of dizziness. This one was more acute than the previous wave. It lasted longer and made Trisha slip to the floor to ease the sensation of the world heaving around her.

When the wave passed, Trisha felt her body trembling with fright. She wasn’t afraid for her own well-being for she knew she was going to die. No one survived this illness once it was contracted. She was afraid for leaving her boys alone without their parents. She wanted to write to Hohenheim immediately to tell him to come home, but she had no idea where he had wandered off to. He hadn’t told her when he left, and he hadn’t written in the two years following.

 _Oh Hohenheim…why couldn’t you tell me where you going? Your boys need you…I need you…_

Trisha stood, trying to dispel the despair she was feeling. She knew she had limited time before she would die, and she needed to set things in order. But, what broke her heart the most was she knew that tonight was the last bedtime story her boys would share with her.


	4. Return to Resembool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for Episode 20 of Brotherhood. Some of the lines were borrowed from the episode to ensure continuity of this little .

**Theme:** #12 Children  
 **Character/Pairing:** Van Hohenheim

The trip to Resembool on the train had been a long, arduous one for the man with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and gold eyes hidden behind a pair of thin glasses. Even though he had endured a long train ride, he still had a long walk ahead of him. At least the sky was clear without any sign of rain. It would make the walk from the train station to the Elric home a little easier because he wouldn’t have muddy roads to contend with. 

Hohenheim stretched and adjusted his glasses so that he could see clearly. The train had just departed for its next stop from the Resembool station, and the winding road faced him. His limbs felt stiff from the jolting ride on wooden seats, which made him not want to move any further, but Hohenheim sighed with determination. Soon, he would be home. 

The road was quiet like it usually was which Hohenheim found comforting after having to race around Amestris for so long to prepare everything for the inevitable future. After taking a few deep breaths of the sweet, country air tinged with fresh grass, he felt more centered and at peace. 

“Is that you?”

Hohenheim stopped in his tracks at hearing the familiar voice coming from behind him. He slowly turned to see his dear friend, Pinako, standing behind him. She was still as sharp as ever with her customary pipe hanging from her lips. The years had taken their toll on Pinako, lining her face with deep wrinkles, and it reminded Hohenheim just how different he was from everyone, even his children.

“Pinako,” he said simply in his deep voice.

“So it _is_ you. You haven’t changed.”

Hohenheim ignored the comment. “How are Trisha and the boys?”

Pinako just frowned. “I wasn’t sure if word had reached you. Trisha died…about ten years ago. Ed and Al…well, they took after you.”

“They learned alchemy,” Hohenheim simply stated, trying to hide the shock and deep sadness he was now feeling.

Pinako made a sound of disapproval deep in her throat. “Yes…and they tried human transmutation.”

Fear struck Hohenheim in the heart, and he immediately felt guilt, anger, and sorrow overwhelm him all at once. “So, they did it.”

“I’m afraid so. They thought they could bring their mother back. They failed and Ed lost an arm and leg for that. Al lost his entire body and his soul is attached to armor now. How Edward managed that, I don’t know. Ed became a State Alchemist and when they left about four years ago, they burned the house down.”

Hohenheim turned to look toward the hill where his home should have been standing with his wife and young sons waiting for him. Hohenheim didn’t know what to say. He knew he should’ve been there for Trisha and the boys, especially when she had died. He knew if he had been there, he could’ve stopped Ed and Al from committing such a disastrous deed. He sighed…the attempt at human transmutation sounded more like Edward’s idea than Al’s. Hohenheim knew this because it sounded like something he may have attempted at a young age, and he was convinced in the little time that he spent with his sons, that Edward was the most like him.

_Even if I had been there…there’s no guarantee that Edward would’ve listened to me,_ Hohenheim thought to himself. After all, he was headstrong himself, and he was certain this was a trait that Edward had inherited.

“How long are you going to be here?”

“Just for the night,” Hohenheim replied.

“You’re welcome to stay with me since your home is no more. Winry and the boys are in Central, and I don’t expect them to come tonight while you’re here.”

“In Central by themselves?” Hohenheim questioned.

“Well, not exactly,” Pinako began. “Now that Edward is a State Alchemist, I’m sure he’s being carefully watched by the military. But that doesn’t matter. Edward and Alphonse are no longer children, Hohenheim. Not since that night. They had to grow up pretty fast.”

Hohenheim hummed. “Yes…” He paused as he lost himself in his thoughts. A moment passed until he realized that he was keeping Pinako waiting. “You go on ahead. I’ll take you up on your offer. I’m just…going to visit Trisha first.”

Pinako nodded and walked past Hohenheim to continue her trek back home. Hohenheim watched her slowly walk further and further away from him before he continued his journey, now taking a slightly different route. He eventually came to the large graveyard and from the road, he could see Trisha’s headstone. He crossed over onto the grass and trudged slowly toward the marker.

Hohenheim always knew deep down that Trisha would pass before he would. He had always prepared himself for that inevitable day, but he never expected it to be so soon and at such a young age. He felt ineffable sadness envelop him as he let his guilt and grief hit him at once. He knew he should’ve been there for her in her last moments to hold her and comfort her. He knew he should have been a proper father to his sons.

Trisha had been his one love…his only love. He had never known happiness until he had met her in the decades he had lived. He was willing to open his heart and let her in despite the knowledge that he would probably never die or when he did, it would be way beyond Trisha’s lifespan. Then, when she had their sons…he never felt such joy again as those days when his strong, handsome sons came into the world. Now, they were all gone. Trisha, gone from the world too soon, and his boys estranged because he had chosen a more noble cause to take on.

As he let himself mourn quietly over the loss of his wife, Hohenheim barely noticed the passage of time. He heard more footsteps behind him and thought it might have been Pinako. As his ears tuned into the sound of the footfalls, he realized one sounded a little heavier than the other foot. He had an idea of who it was behind him, and he turned to face the familiar gold eyes and blonde hair he had seen years ago before he left.

“Hello, Edward,” he said quietly. He didn’t know what else to say to the son he hadn’t seen in over ten years. “You appear to have grown some.”

Edward looked miffed at his words and scoffed, taking his gaze away from the face of his father and out towards the graveyard. Hohenheim felt extremely awkward. He could tell his son was angry at him, and he knew Edward had every right to feel that way. _Pinako is right…he is no longer a child,_ Hohenheim thought with a shred of melancholy. _I suppose I have to treat him as such._

“I spoke with Pinako,” he began. He noted that Edward’s gaze was drawn back up to him in a cautious expression. “You tried human transmutation.”

Edward’s eyes widened, and Hohenheim could see little beads of perspiration on his son’s face. At least he knew his son wouldn’t deny it. He felt that Edward was expecting a lecture or an explosion of fury, and he could sense a little fear in the teen’s expression. The fear was quickly replaced with anger and before Hohenheim could continue, Edward spoke.

“What makes you think you can show up like this? There’s nothing left here for you anymore!”

“I noticed,” Hohenheim said calmly, dispelling Edward’s anger quickly. “Tell me, Edward…what possessed you to burn down my home?”

Edward seemed taken aback by Hohenheim’s calm demeanor, and the tension in him seemed to dissipate a little at being given the chance to explain himself. “After what happened, we vowed to never turn back. We did it as a symbol of our resolve.”

“No you didn’t,” Hohenheim snapped. He felt that what stood before him wasn’t an adult like Pinako said, but a child. He approached his son to close the gap between them. “You were hiding the memory. You didn’t want to be reminded of what you’d done and thought you could erase the memory by destroying the evidence.”

The resentment and fear came back to Edward. “You’re _wrong_!” 

Hohenheim knew he was striking a cord within his son, and making him face the truth of his actions instead of leaning on the fairytale story he had concocted and probably told many others. If Edward wanted to act like an adult, well, then he needed to face reality like one. Hohenheim felt he was doing Edward a favor for doing this and hoped Edward would understand.

“It’s just like a child who hides the sheets after he wets the bed. You ran away and you know it.”

Hohenheim knew he was being blunt, but he could tell by his son’s horrified expression that his words were getting through to him. Hohenheim needed Edward to understand the depth of his mistake and to face it head on. Only then could Edward really come to terms with what he had lost that night. Hohenheim saw the rage fill Edward once more, and the teen turned, stalking off away from him.

“You don’t know a _damn_ thing!” he yelled as he continued to walk away. “You make me sick to my stomach!” he muttered.

Hohenheim watched Edward go, sorrow creeping over him once more. In retrospect, he considered that scolding Edward in that fashion was not the best way to go, and it probably did more to damage their relationship. Hohenheim sighed.

“He’s just like I was when I was his age,” he said quietly.

Despite the tough exterior, Hohenheim knew that deep down, Edward was still a child: a scared child who was having trouble dealing with all the guilt, sorrow, and pain from that night. Hohenheim knew he had effectively severed any chance of having any further conversation with Edward, and he had some information for him that he needed to know. At the same time, Hohenheim knew that he couldn’t just tell Edward. There was so much hatred between them that anything Hohenheim said would be discounted. He needed to find a way to tell Edward what he knew that would ease his suffering without inciting the rage that was instilled in him. With that, Hohenheim began the trek to the Rockbell home, thinking of ways he could share his knowledge with his headstrong, angry son.

* * * * *

Dinner had been a quiet affair. Edward did all he could to avoid eye contact or any conversation with Hohenheim. Hohenheim was hurt by this, but he also knew this was the child in Edward acting out against an adult who had challenged his belief that he was an adult and was handling life as such. As soon as Edward had eaten his fill, he got up from the table and took his dishes to the kitchen. He then came back out and began walking toward a bedroom.

“I’m going to bed, granny,” he stated.

“Alright, Ed. Good night.”

An hour or two had passed since Edward had shut the door and blocked them out from his world. Hohenheim kept finding himself looking toward the door, desiring to have a moment with Edward as a father would have with his young son. Pinako seemed to pick up on this obsession with the closed door.

“Go see him,” she offered.

Hohenheim hesitated. He acknowledged that he wanted to have some sort of contact with Edward, but he also knew he would be unwelcomed. He sat there for a few indecisive minutes before he stood. Pinako smiled knowingly as he marched to the door and opened it carefully to prevent any noise that might wake Edward. The room was dark, and from the light of the kerosene lamp, he could see a form lying on the twin sized bed, covered with a light blue blanket. Hohenheim found himself smiling fondly on his oldest son.

_Despite your mistake, you have done so many things that not many your age could say they did. Your proficiency in alchemy makes me proud,_ he thought as he crossed the floor to stand beside the bed. He looked down at his sleeping son, his blonde hair splayed across the pillow and his body moving up and down rhythmically with his breathing. Hohenheim took note of how calm and peaceful Edward looked, and he couldn’t help but to bend down and reach out to place a hand on his son’s hand in a gesture of love and goodwill. He was about to place that hand on Edward’s hand when he saw a muscle twitch in his son’s face. He stopped short.

_He’s awake,_ he thought.

Hohenheim suddenly felt anxious about what kind of reaction his tender touch would garner. He wanted the chance to apologize to Edward for not being there when he should have been, but as much as Hohenheim wanted to think that Edward was still a toddler, he knew that his time to spend with a carefree Edward was long gone. Hohenheim sighed and stood to his full height. He made his way back out the room, closing the door behind him. He lowered his head while still facing the door, and he sighed.

_My children…I’m sorry._


End file.
